THE HORRIBLY SLOW ACTING CAREER GETS A BOOST


The email arrived while I was in Pennsylvania visiting my parents. My good friend Paul Clemens had agreed to star in a short film from the director of the acclaimed horror short “Criticized.” Paul loved “Criticized” and sought out its director, Richard Gale. The pair hit it off immediately and the wheels were set in motion to create Richard’s new vision: “The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon.” Paul would play a man who is attacked by a maniacal murderer bent on killing him with… a spoon. Yes, a spoon.


I was happy for Paul, who began his acting career in the 1970s appearing in film and television projects with Ed Asner, Stefanie Powers, Brian Dennehy, James Mason and Malcolm McDowell. Paul was the star of my film “Daybreak” and is truly one of the very best at his craft. I remember making sure that my bartender character had a scene with Paul’s character so I could share screen time with him. As fate would have it, we were about to share screen time again…

Paul suggested that Richard audition me for the small role of the Doctor. It was only a one-line part (seemingly my specialty) but the scene had to be played just right. Richard was making a horror spoof and the comedy had to played very straight–no tongue in cheek stuff here. Well, anyone who knows me can vouch that in real life I hardly ever say things without my tongue in cheek! So I made sure to deadpan the line as I auditioned for Richard. I must have said it 10 times (I think I started laughing several times–the scene is so funny). Satisfied, Richard extended his hand and said, “You’re my doctor.” Just like that, I was cast in a film!

Working with Paul was a blast and working with Richard Gale was awe-inducing. Now you may think that I’m trying to kiss up to Richard (who has won two Emmys, by the way) and you’d be right–to a point. Truth is, he really is good. He ran a comfortable set, gave clear direction and kept the energy level high during filming. Trust me, it doesn’t often happen like this on a film set. Especially for the actor doing one line!

I have been out of acting since 2004. That’s when I left me agent for what I thought would be a few months but turned into forever. I couldn’t keep up with the grueling (and largely unfulfilling) auditions.
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Besides, I turned my energies to my next film “Radio Changed America.” I’m still working on realizing this project! So I was a bit nervous about acting again. I always thought I was a very good actor and just figured it was like riding a bicycle. Luckily, it was!


I am thrilled to be a part of this film which has gone on win awards at film festivals and to rocket to the top of You Tube in its first month of release on that website! “The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon” has received nearly 1.3 million views as I write this. Perhaps in that vast pool of 1.3 million viewers is at least one casting director looking for a guy to play the role of a Doctor! You never know, it could be that one-line character that ends up making my acting career comeback.


I’m available for one-line roles…

I’m just saying…