BASTING IN THE SAUCE OF SELF-PITY: DON’T DO IT!
Sometimes I start with the blog and create the title later, other times a great title suggests itself and what follows becomes a stream-of-consciousness exercise to justify it. Guess which on this is.
Sometimes you’re the hammer, sometimes you’re the nail. If you fall off the horse, you’ve got to get right back on. If at first you don’t succeed… yadda, yadda, yadda. Why do these types of sayings persist? They must speak to a universal truth about the human condition. What is that truth? That we get down on ourselves and that’s not a good thing in which to invest! These pithy ideas put forth the everlasting need to buck ourselves up in the face of failure, disappointment, or just plain getting nailed for something stupid at work.
We need to remind ourselves to put things in perspective (easier said than done, or else we’d need no reminding), never view failure as an end result, but rather a learning experience (some more bloody and bitter than others), and never, ever, ever baste ourselves in the sauce of self pity! (Got to get the blog title in there somewhere, you know.)
You know what I mean by that? Ever know someone (even you, yourself, heaven forbid) who loves to relive all the ill fortunes that they have faced? They positively wallow in the filth of regret, perceived failure, and pity. In short, they claim as their divine right the exclusive purview of Life’s Number One Martyr. They pour out their heart and soul and for what? Nobody really appreciates their efforts. Rewards due them are not forthcoming. Everyone else has it better, you know. These people work less and get more of life’s riches. They get the Girl (or Guy). The car. The cruise to Bora Bora. The undeserved love and respect of peers.
Oh for heaven’s sake, get over it! Stop it! Really? You are trapping yourself in an endless loop (otherwise I couldn’t describe it as a loop) and you end where you start, which coincidentally resembles every other stop along the journey. Self-Pityville.
I suppose most of us will, at one time or another, end up in Self-Pityville. You have to fight through any stops at this destination. Make your visits as short as possible. Do not take up residence there and have your mail forwarded to this location! If friends keep hinting that you are only making matters worse with your attitude, or that you should really try to look on the bright side, or are missing out on enjoying what you already do have—I have more unsolicited advice: Listen to them! They are your friends, after all! If they tell you to snap out of it, you really need to consider doing this! If you’d rather blow them off because they truly don’t understand how horrible you have it (and the perverse pleasure you get from explaining it time and time again), then get out the baster and settle in for a while. Might as well get comfortable as you splash about in your sauces, cooking away your hopes and dreams. Just don’t expect any company. Because most of us understand that in life, sometimes you’re the hammer and sometimes you’re the nail. We, in fact, do try, try again. And I personally get right back on that horse, grit my teeth, and dare that sonofabitch to try to throw me off again.
Sure, I stop off in Self-Pityville every once in while. I just don’t take out an ad and ask for company. In fact, I usually stop, look around, kick some dirt and rocks, and then exclaim, “Well, this really SUCKS!” Then I leave it behind.
I’m just saying…